Alive
by AlinaLotus
Summary: He didn't know that all this time he'd been dead. Because there was no other word for what she made him feel. He was finally alive, and it was all thanks to a pink-haired miracle.


**Warnings: AU, slight language. Enjoy.**

_Now that I know you, I could never turn my back away  
Now that I see you, I could never look away  
_

_I feel so alive  
for the very first time... _

Thick needle in his left wrist. Cold compress to his forehead. Two pillows under his right leg. And...that smell. The slight mix of antiseptic and plumeria. Instinctively, he relaxed. _She_ was here.

He felt a finger run the length of the back of his hand, soft, soothing. What succinct descriptions of her.

"Well?" He heard Tsunade's voice across the room, probably from the doorway. Sakura's finger stilled.

"He'll be alright. I fixed his leg and ribs, and his fever is coming down. Another two nights should do it, then I'll send him home."

"The idiot. Taking on twenty rogue ninjas by himself! At his age!" Tsunade scoffed, turning to leave. "Well done, Sakura." She said, bestowing a proud smile on her apprentice.

Sakura nodded, replying with a wary smile of her own. Tsunade shut the door behind her, and Sakura resumed tracing Kakashi's hand. "You can open your eyes. She's gone." Sakura said, lifting her hand to remove the compress. She stood, retrieving a piece of folded cloth from the bedside table.

Kakashi tried to move his leg, but was immediately met with resistance and pain like he'd never known before, which was saying something. He was sure he'd racked up the most hospital visits of any Leaf ninja. "What the hell happened?" He asked, focusing on Sakura's form. She was at his immediate side again, arranging his mask around his neck.

"The usual," she shrugged, pulling the cloth up to his chin, "you got yourself into a fight you stood no chance of winning. They are, of course, all dead. And you would have been, if Neji hadn't carried your sorry ass all the way back here."

Kakashi glared at her, though it was impossible to stay mad when she was such a sight for his sore eyes. God, he'd missed her. He always did. And he never realized just how much until he saw her again.

"What was the damage?" he asked. She smirked and pulled out his chart, which consisted of three large silver binders stuffed to the hilt.

"Fractured femur in three places. Severe arterial damage, and thanks for that, by the way. I spent hours in surgery picking bone fragments out of your artery and surrounding veins. Not what I'd call a fun time."

Kakashi tried to clear his throat and Sakura automatically grabbed a cup, holding it near his mouth. He kept his eyes on hers while he sucked some water through the straw. He'd wondered for a while back there if he'd ever get to see their jade depths again. It was not something he'd enjoyed.

"Four broken ribs-you'll need to keep that binder on until I give the okay." Sakura put her hand beneath the sheet, gently pressing her palm against the material of the wrap that was around his otherwise bare torso. "Two broken toes, uncountable cuts and bruises, and a slight concussion. You might want to think twice before head butting somebody next time." Sakura set his glass down on the bedside table, readjusting his blankets.

"And a day after your surgeries you developed a severe lung infection. You're mostly healed from that, though. Thanks to Tsunade's antibiotics." Sakura snaped Kakashi's chart closed.

Kakashi swallowed painfully; his body felt strained and fried to the last degree.

"Tomorrow we'll get you out of bed and start your physical therapy." Sakura was fiddling with something on the IV tubing. "Now get some sleep." With his canine-like senses he heard the rushing of fluid above him, and looked to see that Sakura had turned up his pain medication.

"And sensei?" She said after a moment, when his eyelids were feeling like lead. "I'm so glad you came back to me." She leaned over him, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth. "And don't you _ever_ scare me like that again."

* * *

Kakashi shuffled around his apartment, cursing the crutch that Sakura had forced on him. After two days of physical therapy, he'd been deemed in good enough health to be sent home. That had been yesterday, and now he was left to his own devices. Sakura had said something about dropping by later to check on him, and the tone in her voice, when he suggested that he was capable of taking care of himself, was extremely doubtful.

Ah, well. He was grateful for her concern, not only because it meant that, somewhere, she cared for him, but it seemed that she was one of the only people who did genuinely worry for him. It really wasn't in his nature to concern himself with what others thought, but he had to admit that only having the rare visitor in the hospital was something of a disappointment. Sakura had brushed this aside; he'd been in the hospital nearly too many times to count, so it was small wonder that his friends had given up visiting him every time he was injured.

He heaved himself into the recliner in his living room, fiddling with the remote before tossing it aside. He wasn't interested in the soap operas and ridiculous talk shows that daytime television offered. Although, with Tsunade's strict order that he was to be on R and R for at least a week, Kakashi felt that he'd better get another hobby, and quick. Having poured over is Icha Icha books as many times as he had been strapped to a hospital bed, and since the next one wasn't set to come out for months, he dreaded spending the week in what was sure to be solitary confinement.

There was a rapt knock on the door before it swung open, and Sakura entered, dressed in her usual shorts and red tunic, carrying two large bags. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" She said by way of greeting, and set the sacks on the coffee table before making her way to the large window and sliding open the curtains. "That's better." She said, as Kakashi held his hands against the bright light of the afternoon.

"What's that?" Kakashi said, trying to sound irritated. There was little point, he felt, in pretending that seeing her, being near her, hadn't just perked up his entire day.

"I figured that you've been eating junk since you got home," Sakura raised her eyebrows at the half-empty package of beef jerky and can of beer on the edge of the table, "and what you really need right now is wholesome food. How else do you expect your body to heal?" She opened the first bag and set out a glass dish covered in foil. It smelled good, at least, though he was wary of what Sakura would consider 'wholesome food'. She also pulled several smaller containers out, two bottles of water, and a stack of paper plates and plastic cutlery.

"And that?" Kakashi indicated the other bag.

Sakura beamed. "Well, since I knew you'd just wallow in self-pity the whole time you're off, I figured you may as well broaden your cinematic horizons while you're at it. And since Tsunade thinks you need to be watched most of the time, she's given me a few days leave from the hospital to do just that."

Kakashi smirked. "My own nurse, eh? Does that come with the-"

Sakura smacked the back of his head before he could finish his sentence. "Don't be perverted, sensei. Although I know that's like asking you not to breathe."

And Kakashi, watching Sakura add a generous portion of vegetable lasagna to his plate, felt that if this was solitary confinement, he could put up with it. With Sakura next to him, he could put up with anything.

* * *

_one day ago_

"I just don't see why you're punishing yourself." Ino said, shrugging, as she took another bite of barbecued pork.

Sakura twirled her chopsticks in her hand. "I'm not punishing myself. I'm following orders."

Ino snorted. "Right, and I'm dating Choji. Look Sakura, you're in love with him. It's stupid to pretend you're not. It's pretty obvious. And doing this, spending these next few days with him...don't you think it's a little dangerous? I mean, A, he's a jounin, and B, he was your teacher. It's just..." Ino shrugged again.

Sakura sighed. "I'm not pretending anything. I never said I didn't love him. I never said this would be easy, but I want to do it. Even if all we can ever be is friends, I'll take it. I'd rather us be friends than not have him in my life at all. And besides, you wouldn't understand, it's not like your old teacher is in any sense available."

Ino sniffed, ignoring Sakura's last statement. "Well, what are you going to do, then?"

Sakura shrugged. "Make sure he's taking his meds, that he's eating right. I'll probably pick up some movies for us to watch. He shouldn't be exerting himself."

Ino smirked. "Mind you remember that last part, forehead."

Sakura threw her chopsticks at her best friend, ducking with a laugh as Ino retaliated with an overlarge carrot.

* * *

"You think I'm amazing. You do. 'Cause that's who I told you I'd be. That was the game plan."

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This movie really had been a good choice, it was funny in the right way, clever and sarcastic. Sakura knew him well enough to know what he would enjoy. But this scene was too real for comfort.

"Yeah well, you know what it worked."

Next to him on the couch, Sakura inched closer.

"You know what? No one else thinks so."

Though he knew it was wrong, though he knew it would be something that, later, he would regret, he turned to look at Sakura, jolting as he found her gaze on his face. She was looking at him oddly, as though she was partly confused, partly scared.

"What, my opinion doesn't count?"

Sakura bit her lip, her eyes closing for half a second before she slid her hand around his bicep. The contact caused him to untense a bit, his skin warming, as usual, under her touch. But this was different...Sakura wasn't there right now, despite what the Hokage thought, as a medic. Her touch wasn't that of a healer to her patient. She was there for something else, and Kakashi realized that he'd simply been waiting for this. Years, months, all the time he'd spent hating himself for the feelings he'd developed. Lusting for her, impressed with all that she'd accomplished...learning more and more about her, sometimes fighting alongside her on missions...coming back to her when there was nothing else worth returning for...and finally, coming to the conclusion that he loved her. He missed her, wanted to be near her, to be there for her. Not necessarily to protect, because she'd never need him to, but to wade through life with her, to giver her everything he was and everything he would ever be.

And it was the most selfish thing he could think of. She was young and strong and beautiful, smarter than was good for her, and deserved the very best there was out there.

"Actually, no it doesn't. 'Cause you're new here. If you just look around, there's younger and there's better."

Kakashi gave Sakura a meaningful look. She tipped her head to the side, and pointed to the screen.

"I don't want younger and better! I want you!"

Kakashi snorted, and Sakura laughed. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He asked, but he pulled her hand down with his and entwined their fingers.

"Eh, I don't really care if it does. I just...it doesn't matter, Kakashi. I don't care how old you are or what your rank is. I'm not in love with those things. What matters is this," Sakura gestured with her free hand to their closeness, "Being by you and laughing with you, knowing that hey, tomorrow is gonna be a great day because I'm going to see you again."

She really always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to put him at ease, if such a thing was possible in this situation. "I'm going to kiss you." Kakashi threatened, his eyes now on her lips.

Now Sakura snorted. "Took you long enough."

Yes, Kakashi thought, as his lips met hers softly, it had taken him long enough. But he didn't know that all this time he'd been dead. Because there was no other word for what she made him feel. He was finally alive, and it was all thanks to a pink-haired miracle.

**Just in case some of you didn't catch it, the movie they're watching is Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. It's fucking incredible. If you haven't seen it, you must. Thanks to Amber for opening my eyes to its brilliance. Lyrics used are from Alive by POD.**

**As ever, feedback is appreciated. **


End file.
